Irony

I find it ironic that so often we induce labor before a woman's body is ready and then when her labor doesn't progress fast enough we tell her that she needs a c-section.  What if we were patient enough to let labor start on its own and to let labor progress at its own pace?

Fear

When I found out I was pregnant for the first time I couldn't wait to go to the book store.  I wanted to read everything I could about pregnancy, labor, and babies.  I was excited, but also scared.  There was so much that I didn't know.  And of course, I had heard so many horrible stories about women who were in labor for days and were in so much pain.  But a thought struck me that somehow I would have to get over that fear.  I was pregnant and I was going to have a baby, scared or not.  I think it is very common for women to be scared not only of labor but of the big event of having a baby to take care of.  Lucky for us women, we have 9 months to prepare and 9 months to face our fears.

At the last two births that I attended, both women stated, "I'm scared."  And for both of them, that moment was toward the end of their labors, it was almost as if they reached a point where they finally had to face that fear before they could complete their labor.  I could see a definite change in demeanor from a feeling of fear to one of confidence.  During my own labors too, I remember in each one of them a "low" point of self-doubt or fear, a feeling of not being able to go on.  It took some reassurance from my husband and a renewed commitment within myself, that I could do it, I was doing it, and I wanted to do it.

I have said before that I feel that labor is a rite of passage into motherhood. Labor is a physical event, but also an emotional and mental one as well.  So, how do women do it?  How do they face their fears during labor?  For myself, a big part of facing my fears was reading every book I could during that 9 months.  I took a birthing class.  I spent a lot of time educating myself about how my body works and what to expect.  During labor when I had that moment of self-doubt I finally had to just give in and trust that my body was doing what it needed to do in order to birth my baby.  That feeling of surrender is hard, it is hard to give up control, but from all that I had learned prior I knew that nature would take its course and my body would work the way it was designed.  Now that I am a mother I see that surrender is an important life lesson.  You cannot always control how often your baby wakes up to nurse at night, or what time he is going to nap the next day.  I have had to give up some of the control that I had over my own life in order to care for the life of my baby.

It is not uncommon to have fear about labor or about taking care of your new baby.  But you can educate yourself to prepare for your baby's arrival. And, while facing our fears is not always easy, it does help us to grow and to become a better person.

Why have a natural birth, when you can have drugs?

I was making lunch for my kids yesterday and contemplating how the easy things to make usually aren't as healthy as foods that take time to prepare.  Maybe you've heard it said before that you should avoid the isles at the grocery store and only shop the perimeter of the store where the fruit, vegetables, bread, meat and dairy are kept (the fresh foods).  Kids know this to be true too, they know that anything that comes in a wrapper that makes a crinkly noise is going to taste good.  I have been striving to prepare healthy meals for my family and avoid processed and fast foods.  It seems so easy, but in the hustle and bustle of daily life, crackers from a box and waffles from the freezer are the easy alternative, while not necessarily the healthiest option.

What does this have to do with labor?  I am trying to make a point, so here goes.  When I tell people that I have had 3 natural births, I often get a reaction something like this, "You're crazy! Why would you go through all that pain when you can just get an epidural?"  On the surface I can see their point.  But life just doesn't seem to work that way, taking the easy way, I mean.  I know that we all want the easy way and no one seeks out the hard way to do things, but sometimes you have to work a little bit harder in order to get a greater reward.  To use a cliche, you get what you pay for.  Eating a home-cooked meal usually tastes better and is better for you than say a frozen pizza, but the home-cooked meal, however took longer to make and was more of an effort.  I think labor is the same way.

I wanted to have a natural birth because I knew that it was possible and could be done.  Women have been having natural births for thousands of years!  I wanted to avoid any drugs or medications that could affect my baby.  At the hospital, a nurse told me that I wouldn't win a medal for having a natural birth, but you know what? After each baby was born, I felt like I had just won a medal.  I actually felt great, physically and mentally.  My babies were very alert after birth, and I was able to get up and walk right away.  I truly feel that a natural birth was worth it.

Now, I have to admit, that we do have the occasional frozen pizza for dinner, and my kids have had fast food from time to time, but overall we strive for the best and healthiest options for our children.  For my husband and I that also meant starting with a medication-free birth.  Hard work does have its rewards.